


Texting on the Surface

by Jiemme



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Post-Game, Texting, just... LOL
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 00:52:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5519447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jiemme/pseuds/Jiemme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was December 23, 20XX. Hilarity ensues in texts.</p><p>[gift fic for tumblr user theglassineheart/AO3 user LePetitChou]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Texting on the Surface

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LePetitChou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LePetitChou/gifts).



> lol it's a fic for the humor me and my friend, theglassineheart, shares for undertale. it's my Christmas present to her and I sent it with oodles of fonts for each character, but it sadly won't show here. ho ho ho merry Christmas everyone! :D
> 
> P.S. I don't own Undertale and I intentionally spelled Muffet as Muppet.

_December 23, 20XX._

\--

[From: Tori – 6:00 AM]

Good morning, Sans. Please don’t forget to buy Christmas ham and turkey. You and Papyrus volunteered for this responsibility.

 

[From: Tori – 6:01 AM]

Actually, Papyrus was the only one who volunteered, but I assume you will accompany him. I have texted him as well.

 

[From: Tori – 6:04 AM]

Also buy some ingredients for gravy. And don’t argue that ketchup is more preferred – we want Frisk to experience the best Christmas dinner with all of us, so we should strictly follow the recipes Undyne and Alphys have researched on.

 

[From: Tori – 6:05 AM]

Oh my. I don’t mean to sound so bossy in my previous texts. I will use more smileys to sound less serious 3:-)

\--

 

[FROM: PAPYRUS – 7:42 AM]

SANS! I HAVE CALLED YOU TEN TIMES AND YOU HAVEN’T ANSWERED. WE AGREED TO LEAVE AT 8 AM. I ALSO TRIED POURING WATER ON YOU BUT… WELL, WE HAVE NO SKIN! SO YOU DIDN’T BUDGE. REMEMBER, THREE OUT OF FOUR ROCKS MOVE WHEN PUSHED, SO STOP BEING THAT ONE OUT OF FOUR ROCK!

 

[FROM: PAPYRUS – 8:01 AM]

SANS!!! I CALLED YOU ANOTHER TEN TIMES BUT YOU STILL AREN’T ANSWERING. IS YOUR PHONE ON SILENT? I’LL CHECK!!! NYEHEHEHEHE!!!

 

[FROM: PAPYRUS – 8:14 AM]

OMG!!! SANS!!! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! YOUR PHONE IS SILENT SO I RETURNED IT TO NORMAL MODE, BUT YOU STILL HAVEN’T BUDGED AFTER TEN CALLS!!! IF YOU’RE INTIMIDATED IN GOING SHOPPING WITH YOUR AWESOME BROTHER, FEAR NOT! YOU WILL BE AS GREAT AS I IF YOU SIT INSIDE THE SHOPPING BASKET LATER! NYEHEHEHEHE!!!

\--

_39 Missed Calls_

\--

 

[to: papyrus – 8:26 am]

hey bro. you called 39 times?

 

[FROM: PAPYRUS – 8:27 AM]

FINALLY. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO WAKE UP! HURRY, WE HAVE TO BUY INGREDIENTS. ALSO, CLEAN YOUR ROOM LATER. I’M SICK OF SEEING YOUR SOCK TORNADO! NYEHEHEHEHE!!!

 

[to: papyrus – 8:28 am]

okay

 

[FROM: PAPYRUS – 8:29 AM]

OKAY? OKAY?! THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY??? SANS!!!

 

[to: papyrus – 8:30 am]

you told me to hurry up

 

[FROM: PAPYRUS – 8:30 AM]

OH. OKAY! NYEHEHEHEHEHE!!!

\--

 

[From: Asgore’s Ex But Maybe They’ll Get Together Again – 8:53 AM]

Good morning, Undyne. I’m slightly worried that Sans and Papyrus might use the budget I gave them for… other things. Please overlook their purchases.

 

[To: Asgore’s Ex But Maybe They’ll Get Together Again – 8:55 AM]

sure thing! where did they go shopping?

 

[To: Alphys – 8:55 AM]

wanna go shopping? if you don’t text back within one minute it means yes

 

[To: Asgore’s Ex But Maybe They’ll Get Together Again – 8:56 AM]

wait nevermind alphys is going with me

 

[From: Asgore’s Ex But Maybe They’ll Get Together Again – 8:57 AM]

Wait, Alphys is busy watching Frisk. 3:-(

 

[To: Alphys – 8:58 AM]

make mettaton or napstablook or asgore take care of frisk or something

 

[From: Asgore’s Ex But Maybe They’ll Get Together Again – 8:59 AM]

Alphys didn’t mention about leaving.

 

[From: Alphys – 9:00 AM]

Oh my gosh I’m so sorry Undyne!!! I just read your message now d: wait for me!!!

 

[From: Asgore’s Ex But Maybe They’ll Get Together Again – 9:04 AM]

Oh, wait. Alphys cleared it up 3:-) take care, you two!

\--

[To: Burgerpants – 9:32 AM]

I expect you to watch Frisk properly. Make sure he doesn’t go hungry. They have their own jar of cookies. There are also popato chisps around the house. Don’t give them Spider Donuts at all costs. The television will entertain them, but if they want to play outside with you, do so. Blooky, Shyren, and I have to practice for our performance later. I also have to convince Toriel to make a steak in the shape of my face. I do hope you understand your position in this. You are not being paid to dilly-dally.

 

[From: Burgerpants – 9:33 AM]

But you aren’t paying me, Mr. MTT

 

[To: Burgerpants – 9:34 AM]

Exactly, Darling.

\--

[To: Asgore – 10:48 AM]

Uhhhh… Asgore?

 

[From: Asgore – 10:48 AM]

Howdy, Alphys! What may I help you with?

 

[To: Asgore – 10:49 AM]

How would Toriel react if, for example, Undyne and I used the money for the food to buy something else?

 

[From: Asgore – 10:51 AM]

I see. Let me ask her.

 

[To: Asgore – 10:51 AM]

WAIT ASGORE NO

 

[From: Asgore – 10:53 AM]

She texted: “I will have a bone to pick with them! But of course, that’s only a situation, right?”

 

[to: king fluffybuns – 10:54 am]

what kind of bone?

 

[From: Asgore – 10:55 AM]

She texted: “Not a humerus one, definitely. >3:-(”

 

[to: king fluffybuns – 10:55 am]

will she provide a bone-ty if they did it and we brought them to custody?

 

[From: Asgore – 10:56 AM]

She texted: “It depends on how the money was used. But I’m sure they didn’t buy anything else… did they?”

 

[From: Asgore – 11:01 AM]

Thank you for texting me! However, please send your texts to Toriel directly 3:-) I still have to make snowmen of everyone so I’ll be quite busy 3:-)

 

[to: tori – 11:03 am]

hey tori. guess what papyrus and i bought

 

[From: Tori – 11:04 AM]

What? 3:-)

 

[to: tori – 11:05 am]

christsans ham

 

[TO: ASGORE’S CLONE – 11:05 AM]

OH MY GOD THAT’S SUCH A HORRIBLE JOKE!!! PLEASE DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM, MRS. ASGORE’S CLONE!!!

 

[From: Tori – 11:06 AM]

Do you think it’s delisans? 3:-)

 

[to: tori – 11:06 am]

hehehehe good one

 

[TO: ASGORE’S CLONE, SANS – 11:06 AM]

THAT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL!!! SANS!!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!!

 

[to: tori – 11:07 am]

do you know what undyne and alphys bought?

 

[From: Tori – 11:07 AM]

Turkey? 3:-)

 

[to: tori – 11:08 am]

mew mew kissie cutie merchandise

 

[to: tori – 11:11 am]

but we were able to buy turkey and gravy so it’s all good

 

[From: Tori – 11:12 AM]

You almost gave me a heart attack, Sans. I’m glad they were able to get something they like 3:-) I thought they made a grave-y mistake 3:-)

 

[TO: ASGORE’S CLONE – 11:13 AM]

OH MY GOD!!! PLEASE STOP SENDING PUNS TO SANS!!!

 

[From:  Asgore’s Clone – 11:14 AM]

But I find them quite punny 3:-)

 

[TO: ASGORE’S CLONE – 11:15 AM]

OH MY GOD!!! I’LL BURN THE TURKEY IF THIS GOES ON!!!

\--

[to: mtt – 11:30 am]

hello mettaton… i know you’re just in front of me… but i wanted to text… so… burgerpants texted me… he must be afraid of you… he said… frisk is gone…

 

[To: Blooky – 11:31 AM]

Thank you for being such a dear, Blooky, for telling me the truth. :)

 

[to: mtt – 11:31 am]

you're welcome… just doing the right thing… i hope the human comes home…

 

[To: Alphys – 11:47 AM]

Alphys, Darling, we have a problem.

 

[From: Alphys – 11:48 AM]

Don’t tell me that Frisk is missing! You lost them?!

 

[To: Alphys – 11:49 AM]

Technically, it wasn’t me. I thought Burgerpants would do a good job not screwing up babysitting the little angel. He apparently watched television and let our darling Frisk slip out of his unfortunately irresponsible hands.

 

[From: Alphys – 11:50 AM]

OMGGGGG WE HAVE TO FIND THEM BEFORE TORIEL ASKS OR WE’LL ALL BE BURIED IN THE UNDERGROUND AGAIN

\--

[To: Bratty, Catty – 12:09 PM]

Hey girls! Have you seen the human?

 

 

[From: Bratty – 12:10 PM]                                [From: Catty – 12:10 PM]

      Like, sorry, we haven’t!                            Like, sorry, Bratty and I haven’t!

 

\--

 

 

 

 

[to: grillby – 12:14 pm]

hey grillbz, have you seen the kid?

 

[From: Doggo – 12:15 PM]

Grillby asked me to text since he doesn’t want to melt his phone. I didn’t see no kid moving in here.

 

[From: Lesser Dog – 12:15 PM]

Adlkasjnasronklfjsfpapadnasdnklasdsdanklnkadalnksdasdnldasnhoaosdanlansdlouabouasdnlasdlansnlsdanlksdasndsankldnkldanklsdnkladnlsduoaeoasdbasdnjayibbkweqkbhqwuasdisfdpjidgwkjasjkaiherjaefnlasflnkadfohewriehoiefneiwefipnefwmefwiowefhiowefiphbsfnlelnasdlnldnlaalsdnlasbfiyfouqpweuobkasc kasnwqqwownoasfnlsdbhsdfhoafbhawaihdfabihasdboasdjpooibasdowqoppoooopoooopooooopooooopoooopooookjasdabiuiasdbsdajasd

 

[From: Dogamy – 12:16 PM]

We didn’t smell any human in here.

 

[From: Dogaressa – 12:16 PM]

Grillby said the human didn’t pass by here.

 

\--

 

[To: River Person – 12:18 PM]

Have you seen Frisk?

 

[From: River Person – 12:18 PM]

Tra la la

The surface is like snowdin

 

[From: River Person – 12:19 PM]

Tra la la

No I haven’t seen frisk

 

 

\--

 

[To: Monster Kid – 12:21 PM]

hey kid have you seen your human buddy around?

 

[From: Monster Kid – 12:25 PM]

OMG UNDYNE TEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT BELIEVE IIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT DUDEEEEEEEEE

 

[From: Monster Kid – 12:33 PM]

uhhh oops that was wrong send i'm sorry undyne hehehehe i haven’t seen frisk today

 

 

\--

 

[TO: NICE CREAM VENDOR – 12:47 PM]

SALUTATIONS, VENDOR! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, INQUIRE IF FRISK HAS BOUGHT SOME NICE CREAM FROM YOU TODAY!

 

[From: Nice Cream Vendor – 12:49 PM]

Hello! I’m sad to say I haven’t, but I hope you have a nice day!

 

\--

 

[to: tsunderplane – 1:06 pm]

hello… have you seen frisk?

 

[From: Tsunderplane – 1:06 PM]

W-why are you asking me? I-it’s not like I’m the only one with eyes! B-baka!!!

 

[to: tsunderplane – 1:10 pm]

okay… i'm sorry for bothering you… i won’t text again… i might just bring you down…

 

[From: Tsunderplane – 1:11 PM]

W-what? Y-you baka! D-don’t stop texting! I-I haven’t even confessed y-yet!

 

\--

 

[To: Temmie – 1:24 PM]

Excuse me, Darling, would you happen to know where Frisk went?

 

[From: Temmie – 1:25 PM]

hOI!!!!!! i'm tEMMIE!!

 

[To: Temmie – 1:26 PM]

Yes, I am well aware of that. Have you seen the human allergic to you?

 

[From: Temmie – 1:27 PM]

fhsdhjfdsfjsddshjfsd

 

[From: Temmie – 1:28 PM]

OMG!! humans TOO CUTE (dies)

 

[From: Temmie – 1:28 PM]

awwAwa cute!! (pets u)

 

[To: Temmie – 1:30 PM]

Please stop texting me, Darling. Good bye.

 

[From: Temmie – 1:30 PM]

bOI!!

 

[To: Bob – 1:34 PM]

Have you seen Frisk, Darling?

 

[From: Bob – 1:34 PM]

Sorry, I haven’t.

 

\--

 

[To: Royal Guards – 1:49 PM]

hey have you guys seen frisk?

 

[From: Royal Guards – 1:50 PM]

Like, sorry Undyne, but we haven’t seen them and stuff.

 

 

\--

 

[TO: WINKY MERHORSE MAN – 2:07 PM]

SALUTATIONS, WINKY MERHORSE MAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM ASKING FOR A FEW SECONDS OF YOUR TIME TO RECOLLECT WHETHER YOU HAVE SEEN FRISK THE HUMAN!

 

[From: Winky Merhorse Man – 2:10 PM]

Sorry, I haven’t. I only see my beautiful flexing muscles ;)

 

\--

 

[to: muppet – 2:22 PM]

have you seen frisk?

 

[From: Muppet – 2:26 PM]

I haven’t ahuhuhuhu~

Please come over to our bake sale ahuhuhu~

Spider Christmas cookies for only 9999G

Such reasonable pricing don’t you think?

Ahuhuhuhu~

 

 

\--

[To: Gerson – 2:39 PM]

hey geezer have you seen frisk?

 

[From: Gerson – 2:42 PM]

The human? Nope! Are you playing hide and seek?

 

[To: Knight Knight – 3:14 PM]

hey have you seen frisk?

 

[From: Knight Knight – 3:19 PM]

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……………..

\--

 

[To: Tori Dearest – 4:13 PM]

I have seen Undyne post multiple “WANTED” posters of Frisk.

 

[From: Tori Dearest – 4:15 PM]

Oh? Did they think Frisk got lost?

 

[To: Tori Dearest – 4:16 PM]

Apparently so.

 

[From: Tori Dearest – 4:18 PM]

They texted me 3:-) They're on their way home with a guest!

 

[To: Tori Dearest – 4:19 PM]

Should I tell them?

 

[From: Tori Dearest – 4:20 PM]

No need. Let it be a surprise for them. I don’t even know who our mystery guest will be! 3:-)

-

[To: THE HUMAN – 4:32 PM]

UNHAND ME, HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[To: THE HUMAN – 4:33 PM]

HOW DARE YOU TRAP ME IN THIS DISGUSTING POT?????

 

[To: THE HUMAN – 4:34 PM]

I WILL RUIN YOUR CELEBRATION!!!!!!!!!

 

[To: THE HUMAN – 4:35 PM]

OH MY GOD IT’S COLD HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY PETALS HATE YOU! MY LEAF HATES YOU! MY ROOTS HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[To: THE HUMAN – 4:36 PM]

JUST BECAUSE YOU GAVE ME A SCARF THAT KEEPS ME WARM DOESN’T MEAN I STOPPED HATING YOU!!!

 

[To: THE HUMAN – 4:37 PM]

THERE BETTER BE GOOD FOOD IN THIS PARTY OR I’LL ABSORB YOUR SOULS!!!


End file.
